Hear the story of A Nigerian woman Mrs Amaka Abara Adamma who narrated the story of herself 2 kids and her barrister husband.
THIS IS TO MY EX, BARR. NGWOKE NWOKORO OF NYSC (STAFF)
MY POST YESTERDAY ENCOURAGED ME TO SPEAK OUT AS MY CONTINUED SILENCE IN THIS MATTER IS AIDING YOUR IRRESPONSIBILITY. LET’S SETTLE THIS NOW!
What I want right now is a DNA test, I am publicly calling you out for it. I don’t want it because I want to go back to you. I want it for the sake of my daughter, our daughter, I want it to clear every doubt that might play against her in the future. I’m challenging you to come out and prove that infidelity you labelled against me. You thought you can tag me a bad name, to make Umu Nna and the community see me as a bad woman. It’s Show Time, it’s DNA or your Shame.
I once reported our case to Human Rights Commission, seeking their intervention on the case of my children walfare as he was not supporting, when he was contacted by the office, among the things he demanded was a DNA test on our daughter. I was told about his demands and I told the officer I have no problem with the kids going on holidays in his place, but we must sign he will bring them back. I’ve had his people threatening to collect my children from me, so I needed assurance that they will come back after their holidays. Then they said;
“and he also said that he wants a DNA test on my daughter”.
Hallelujah 🙌🏿 🙌🏿
I knelt down with both hands high up, “thank you Father” 😪😪
They couldn’t understand why I was happy instead of panicking. They made inquiry from Echo Scan for the DNA he requested, and got a whopping cost of 97,000 Naira. They sent him the cost and asked him to forward the amount to their office account.
Lol 😂 🤣
The guy switched overnight and started begging the officer to forget the DNA, that he knows the girl is his child. The officer refused, and told him that the office has opened a case file specifically for that which is different from the case of welfare his wife brought. She went further to explain that for him to request for DNA, they will not allow the child grow up like that.
Before I continue, this man is a Lawyer oooh! He studied Law, went to Law school and was called to Nigerian BAR. There was nothing I didn’t see in that marriage, unfounded accusation upon accusations, there was nothing I wasn’t labelled in his hands. He’d listen to anything that an outsider has to say, and come back to carry it like gala for head parading the house like he is the Saint and I’m the devil 👿
He even came back and asked me if I was a prostitute before, my husband asked me if I did prostitution before he married me. Jesus!🙆🏿♀️! “Where did you hear such, who told you that?”, I queried. Till today, he has not told me the idiot he gossips me with.
He quickly made request for DNA test to make me look like I was unfaithful to him. Me Amaka Nwa Abara unfaithful? I never cheated while dating, na marriage I go come cheat?
So, he actually knew the girl was his child and denied her and went about telling his people he wasn’t responsible for my pregnancy?
So he knew and allowed me to carry that pregnancy all alone in so much bitterness and agony which I almost died if not for my family who supported me financially, morally and emotionally, and asked me to stay in his house until I put to bed. From the day I told my husband that I was pregnant for our second child, I became his worst enemy, he thought it was a scheme from me to continue pinning him down to the marriage as he wanted out by all means. What did I do? I kept crying, I was depressed and traumatised by his actions that I started having nightmares at night while heavily pregnant.
One thing with me is that I do not like fighting in relationship, especially when love is on the line, I’d rather walk away. So I decided to engage him in talks again, and he blatantly told me I do not worth his love and affections. He was already keeping girlfriends to my knowledge, and if I dare ask, he’d remind me there’s nothing between us again. At one time I had to contact one of his corper girlfriends who became surprised that I said he’s my husband. That he told her he wasn’t married but has a child from a Jahova witness girl who got pregnant for him and her parents refused him marrying her because he’s not there member. It was after I left that a friend asked me if I investigated to see if there was a child somewhere. Watin concern me, I’m more concerned with my 2 kids to bother myself how many he has out there.
To cut the story short, I have long known that his mind was no longer in the marriage.., but we were still staying together tolerating one another, as he said he was looking for house and the loan he applied for has not be released. Yet he’d come to my room to beg for one mouth, so that he could sleep. And he’ll always make sure he releases in his palm, just not to get me pregnant, as he took it that a second pregnancy would tie him to the marriage. Frankly speaking, I was also tired and fed up with everything and was planning on how to start all over again. Until that day he miscalculated my free period and assumed since my menstruation was 3 days away, I should be free. To tell you the truth, I didn’t know I could take in the day, when I got my result, I thought of aborting the pregnancy. But I couldn’t have done so without his consent.
Poor me, I often times give in to his pleas thinking that sex was supposed to reunite couples back, but I was wrong, completely wrong.
Two months I put to bed, I called his attention on my plan to leave his house once I do my child dedication, demanding that he should bring forth anything he would want us to settle before I leave, but he didn’t say a word. I called my parents and told them I’ll be leaving, all these months while I was pregnant, they forced me to stay in his house until I deliver my baby, considering the custom in our village which forbids a marriage woman sleeping with another man. And since he was denying paternity, and allow the whole drama play out. If I had cheated, I could have died at childbirth, but I had the most normal free delivery any woman could have asked for. No complications and I thank God for seeing me through.
Seeing my determination to quit the marriage, my family immediately swung in to try and resolve whatever the issue that was about to bring their daughter out of her Husband’s home. My father led a team of my uncles to my husband house, all efforts to make things work was aborted by my Ex, he stood up and hit the table before his in-laws and swore never to continue with the marriage. Lol 😂 🤣
One of my uncles was offended by his actions and left, telling the rest that “If he could disrespectfully hit the table before them, any day I come back, they will give me and my children a place to stay.
Weeks later, as I was battling to get money to enable me move, I couldn’t do the dedication as I hoped, but I took my daughter to church to present her before God, and the then female Rev. Priest of Presbyterian Church of Nigeria who also knew my plight came forward, called us to the Altar and requested for Holy Water for Baptism.
That was all I needed, to bless my children, because I didn’t know where life would take them with me, but I was ready to go out there and find a better life, a life filled with love and compassion even if it’s just me and the two of them. Without a job, my little business has grumbled while issues were playing out against me, without a house I Proudly left that bitterness called marriage for good, I believed in myself and I took my son who was 2yrs and 6mths then, my cute daughter was just 4mths when I left and my little house help around 12 to 13yrs. At the time I was supposed to be taken care of by a man who bore these beautiful children for. When I was parking my things out of his house, he was helping the driver to move things to the bus. I told him like on Thursday that the driver will be coming to pick my stuff the next day being Friday, he said no problem. The driver came and they greeted, surprisingly he started helping him as I was standing by holding my 4mths old crying baby. Yet he went and told his family that I took his children away without his consent.
His elder brother hates me like we hate devil, but I will open his chapter soon. He just wait.
Today, I thank God for where He has taken the 3 of us, and I thank Him also for where He is yet to take us. I do not look back for anything, I pray for the best for my children. When I look back at my past with him, I do not find reasons to go back to him, but my family thinks I should go back. Go back to what? To be tolerated in marriage? Hell No, I’m better than that bullshit.
He has not even been forthcoming with the welfare of his children, last year 2020 was the only year I’d say he tried. He sent 20,000 on 2nd January 2020, sent another 20,000 on 18th March 2020. Within that COVID-19 period people were remembering their loved ones, he sent 5,000 promising to send good amount when NYSC pays him salary, which he did oooh, and later sent 10,000 Naira. When schools reopened, I spoke to him concerning his children school fees, considering the Covid-19 effect on my little business, I was hoping that he that is under Govt salary could be of assistance to his kids. It took the efforts of his younger brother to make him to cough out 30,000 Naira, which wasn’t anything compared to what both of them need to go back to boarding school which was approximately 250k. I can get my statement of account in case he claims he sent more than the stated amounts above.
Me self, I no longer talk if he sends money, because it will result in premium insults if you talk, so for me to have my peace, I just laugh.
I know his friends and family members are here on my friends list, tell him to man up to his responsibilities because I will no longer take that nonsense this 2021.
Also tell him that I am still waiting for the DNA test he asked for at Human Rights office, I challenge him to that.
I’m glad that Nne has been growing, looking like her father. Sometimes when she smiles, I see exactly his daddy’s face in her face. Each time I hug that girl, I always say, “thank God you look very much like your dad”. She does not understand why I kept saying that repeatedly, I can’t thank God enough. There’s no day I don’t thank God that my daughter looks very much like him.
I took them to Human Rights office so that we can go and do the test, all the officers there were like:
“this man just want to waste money on DNA” 🤣😂
Since 6 to 7yrs till date he made request for DNA, Barr. Ngwoke is yet to come up with the money oooh. Please while I still wait for him, can friends help me to do picture DNA?
Biko help me fry my Akara, share also so that his corpers can know how good a father he is. I need an NGO that deals with this kind of matter, I want to sign up with them, my children deserves full benefits from their father. He works with NYSC and receives salary every month. Like he kept saying then: “go your way, let me go my way, when my salary comes, I’ll divide it into two and give you half”.
Where is the half? Not even for once have I ever received half of that his salary, 3yrs before last year, he didn’t send anything, refused even taking my calls and when my father saw him and asked, he lied I gave him a wrong number which he has been trying and couldn’t get through. Is it the number he used to call me with when we were together that he’s saying it’s a wrong number?
The matter don tire me, I do not want a private talk again, let the world hear me.
Make una put mouth!
And make nobody come here to ask me to pull this post down, I’ll be very crossed with that person”. She concluded.